Short Answer
Because it’s natural to want connection—but when you expect someone to be your source of joy, it becomes too much for them (and for you).
Why do relationships feel so high-stakes?
You think:
“If I just meet the right person, everything will click.”
So you invest everything into that relationship. Your identity. Your stability. Your happiness.
And when it struggles—or ends—it feels like everything falls apart.
That’s not weakness. It just means you’ve put too much weight on something fragile.
What does the Bible actually say about this?
The Bible never says relationships are the source of your joy.
Psalm 16 points somewhere else:
“In your presence is abundant joy.”
Relationships are meant to add to your life—not hold your life together.
When Jesus talks about loving others, it flows out of being connected to Him first (see John 15).
In other words:
You receive from Him first, then give to others.
What’s one step I can take?
Take the pressure off one person.
You don’t have to say it out loud—just decide internally:
“They don’t have to be everything for me.”
Then start building a connection with Jesus, even if it’s unfamiliar.
That shift alone can change how you experience every relationship.
Written by Pastor Eduardo Berrios, Student Pastor at Fellowship Church. Learn more about Pastor Eduardo.
You can watch the full message here if you want to hear more of the context behind this moment.